Three things to remember when you handle criticism in the workplace.

I recently finished reading a book called, The Four Agreements. The title is a bit hokey. But the content is spot-on.
The book talks about the importance of creating personal freedom. One of these four agreements to create personal freedom is: âDonât take things personally.â
This really hit home for me. I realized how often I take things personallyâââespecially when it comes to giving and receiving feedback in the workplace.
Our tendency is to interpret the feedback we hear as a personal attack. Itâs the biggest reason for why we donât ask others for feedback.
When someone gives us feedback on our performance at work or about how our company is doing, we get an icky feeling in the pit of our stomach. âWhat?! How could this person think that?!â
Weâre scared to hear something that we might not want to hear. So we avoid asking for feedback.
Thatâs a problem.
Not wanting to hear feedback means we shut ourselves off from information that will almost certainly be useful in some way.
In any piece of feedback, there is a nugget of helpful information. Youâre guaranteed to learn something about a person or your company. Maybe itâs about how your actions are perceived by your employees, or the sentiment about a recent change you made to the companyâââthat information is useful.
You donât have to agree with the feedback, but you will learn something in listening to it.
The key is to not take feedback personally. Hereâs howâŚ
First, remind yourself: âItâs not all about me.â
There are other external forces shaping why a person may be giving you this feedback.
Maybe something happened earlier that day that caused them to be in a sour mood. Or, maybe something happened with their old boss thatâs caused them to believe âthis work environment sucks.â It has nothing to do with you.
Second, remind yourself: âI donât need to be liked.â
You donât need your employees to like you. You do need them to like their jobs and feel fulfilled and excited and motivated to work. But you donât need them to like you as a person.
The minute you let go of the notion that you donât need to be liked, by your employees, your leadership team, etc., your focus begins to shift toward whatâs best for the company overall. Doing so allows you to open up and hear things that you mightâve previously taken personally.
Third, remind yourself of what you care about.
You do care about your company being successful. You do care about creating the best environment for your employees to thrive.
So if thatâs the case, focus on hearing that feedback through the filter of:
âHow can I listen for information that will help move my company forward?â
After all, thatâs what you want. You want your company to do well. Listen for things that will help you meet that goalâââeverything else is secondary or irrelevant.
Granted, itâs incredibly hard to not take something personally.
But in reminding yourself of these three thingsâââitâs not about you, you donât need to be liked, and you care deeply about your company as a wholeâââyou can begin to escape the trap of taking things personally.
By committing to not taking feedback personally, you open your mind to suggestions that could help your company. Employees will appreciate your willingness to ask for feedbackâââI promise.
You and your company will be so much better for it.
